Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
