you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
