Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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