Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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