I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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