Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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