Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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