hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
