My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
