Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
