i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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