those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
