If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
