One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
