I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
