Yo dont text me then not text me
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
