Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Drake has all the answers
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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