why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
