she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
What a dumb baby whore.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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