i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
