he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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