I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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