No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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