at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
