I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
