what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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