yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
