While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
