her vagine was all disorganized.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
