At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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