She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
