dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
