areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do vagina's smell?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Farmville is her only friend.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
