I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
