Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
