Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
