my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
