I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Randomize
