In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
