so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
