I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
