So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
