worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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