You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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