The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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