stop calling my apartment porn island.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
