you're like a bully in the Christmas story
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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