I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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