I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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