i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
