Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
