if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
