nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
