So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
