I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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